Oh My God!!! People actually read my entry I didn't think u guys would. I thought I'd have to leave reminder comments on all ur xangas! Hehehe! Oh BTW Jenny's back and she came 3rd overall in the modern section of her dance competition. Yay! umm what else. Nothing much
keep smiling
alisa

Aaww, you guys all seem so depressed! I mean like, yeah. Everyone's blaming themselves for everything, next thing you know someone will trying to convince me that they caused the madrid bombings! You guys really need to lighten up a little, I know it's hard and I probably sound like an incesitive bitch, but it isn't just your fault! It's a culmination of circumstances building up and exploding in your face. Then everyne turns to the person with the dirtiest hands and blames them. IT'S NOT ALWAYS TRUE! Often, it's the person with the cleanest hands who is to blame. It's the holidays guys, if you're depressed, follow my anti depression steps:
1. if you're riding in the car, look out the window at other people riding in their cars and watch the funny things that they do
2. look up the phone book and find funny names that people have eg MR Bum or Mr Poopathy (these are true)
3. have a good long Simpsons marathon
4. go to the park and feed the ducks(you wouldn't believe how theraputic this is)
5. read these jokes (you may not find them funny, but I do)
Better Definitions
ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP:
A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.
INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. MYTH:
A female moth.
MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES:
Something other people have. You have character lines.




Stupid people should have to wear signs that
just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't
rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them
anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...
never mind, didn't see your sign."
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a
buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock,
I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and
this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch
all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into giving
up. Here's your sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows on the
Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a
shark bite suit. And there's only one way to
test it. "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark
suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump
into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it
hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but
hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of
adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the
height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I
couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I
radioed in for help and eventually a local cop
shows up to take the report. He went through
his basic questioning...okay...no problem. I
thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...
until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I
couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked
back at the rig and then back to him and said,
"No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."
I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker
looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I
replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's
your sign."
Anybody you know need a sign today?
The next time someone says something stupid ask
them where their sign is.